Party season’s in full swing. We had our office do last week – a little office shindig at our makeshift pub, Ye Olde Ivy and Lil. Procurement and Office Manager Phil sent us this handy email before it all kicked off. We all lived to tell the tale so we thought it might come in handy for your Christmas parties too!

Afternoon campers

It’s party season again! Wooohoooo!!!

And whilst we obviously want everyone to have a fantastic time – and we don’t doubt you will! –we have to do our parent bit to make sure you’re all safe.

Rule number one: don’t drink until you pass out. We’re sure people would rather not see you stagger about, drool, slur into their ear or vomit. Please drink sensibly J
Rule number two: given that many of you will probably ignore the first rule and end up inebriated, please do not think you are Superman or Supergirl…
No climbing walls, on desks, tables or chairs
No running around with shop props
No dancing with mannequins
No playing frisbee with Brucie’s head… or Eric Morecombe’s for that matter
No random gymnastics
And if you’re going to try to do the cereal box game again, remember that 99.9% of you cannot do the splits, so please don’t try. You’ll only hurt yourself  
Rule Number Three: if you find you are unable to get home safely, we don’t mind if you crash in the office. All we ask is that you clean up after yourselves… particularly if you vomit
The waiters/waitresses and DJ will stop promptly at 11.30pm… To be fair, they’ll probably have seen enough by then and be scarred for life
After that the decks and the bar will be handed over to you guys to do as you please…. God help us…. Eeeek!
Rule number Four: No smoking in the office or in the garden. Daytime rules apply… You will need to go outside the building to smoke. Expect to have your wrist slapped and be lead out of the building by your ear if you’re caught
Funny Ha! Ha! aside, and on a serious note, whilst we all want you have a good old knees up and let your hair down, what we don’t want is for you to get totally plastered, behave irresponsibly and put your own and other’s safety at risk.
Have fun and be safe.
P.s. We forgot mention, please don’t burn the office to the ground

At least the directors look like they're going to follow the rules...