In the run up to Mother’s Day, we asked some of our friends (our stylist, designer, shop manager and more) who’s a mum to them. Then we spent a week road-tripping around the country to meet these amazing women. We chatted together, laughed together, drank masses of tea, and had little tears in our eyes, hearing what family means to them.
Olivia: The best piece of advice my mum's given me, I think, isn't actually in words but more in actions and just how she is. Just always being there, always giving me space and time to just be whoever I am. The word ‘mum’ is very much like an anchor. Like a really nice, safe feeling.
Martine: The most surprising thing about becoming a mum is the ability to have patience. I had no patience before and I think I’ve got a lot now. Having patience to allow my children to be who they are and to enter the world with their own characters, rather than containing them. Giving them space to be just them.
Nicola: I’ve learnt from my mum not to make myself small. She's been a very big advocate of me being my true, honest self all the time. And my independence is very important to me. It's seeing how Mum embodied that independence when I was little that’s made me the woman I am.
Beverly: I think it’s genetic. That confidence and independence. My mother was a very, very independent person. She was able to bring up five children on her own as a single parent. You learn a lot about yourself becoming a mother. About your capacity for love and anger and empathy. And I think style is generational as well. My mum used to say ‘poverty is no excuse for inelegance’.
Nicola: I would describe your style as a bit of a trailblazer. Because when I was young, you used to make our clothes. And I remember you looked completely different to anybody else's mother. And I look completely different to any of my friends.
Tom: Lola is Tagalog for ‘grandmother’. I don't know any Tagalog, but Lola is the one word I'd use for my grandmother. And for me, Lola is the pillar of our family. She’s ferocious but also kind. I’d like to think that I've built a strong personality from knowing such a strong person, like my grandmother. She took that massive sacrifice in deciding to travel from the Philippines to the UK in search of a better life.
Nelia: Being a grandma means a great deal. And I'm very, very proud of Tom.
Gail: The day Franki was born was one of the best days ever. And she broke the spell. The Dammone spell. It was 58 years of boys. She was the first girl in 58 years.
Franki: I never thought about that. Girl power.
Liz: Gaining a daughter has been really amazing. Obviously as her mother-in-law, I didn't bring Frankie up. But I want her to make her own decisions and believe that she can do anything she wants to do. I think the difference in having a grown-up daughter is that hopefully you’re allowing them to live their life the way they want to live it, not necessarily the way you’ve lived it. Having grandchildren, it gives you a second chance to do all the things that you wished you’d had time to do with your own kids.
Sylvia: How has being a mum shaped me? Well, I go back to when Nicola was born and I suppose one's life did somehow change completely, because suddenly you had this little baby and everything somehow evolved around her. As a person you change and grow and that happens as you have each of your children.
Nicky: I definitely think it's life-changing being a mother to daughters. It's a really special thing that you want to grow your children to be better than you, really.
Amika: I’d say family to me is being with people where you can actually be yourself. Your true self.
Calia: And being able to laugh and be completely open.
Nicky: It feels safe and it feels like you're protected. Having your daughters, you know that they're with you and they're never going to let you down.
James: I think what I've learned from Caroline is how to be resilient against anything that life hits you. And she’s always able to laugh in any situation. I'm originally from the North East, and I have a gorgeous family there. But being accepted by a gorgeous family here and living with them and my fiancé George, it's amazing. Our house is chaotic and loud, with Caroline’s eight Chihuahuas, but there’s always someone to chat to.
Caroline: James really is one of the family. He moved in with us about 10 years ago. And he is another son to me. Family is everything. And we can get over anything together. Whatever life throws at us together, we’ll face it and get through it. That’s what we do, isn’t it? And we come out better on the other side.
WHO’S LIKE A MUM TO YOU?